In the future we'll all be gay
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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