So drunk its hurt
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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