please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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