I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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