ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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