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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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