Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
