Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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