Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
