i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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