Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
