I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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