I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
