I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
