Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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