I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
