Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
