so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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