You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Boobs speak an international language.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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