So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
