Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
