come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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