Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
