Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
