Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
