My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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