Whod you bang
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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