I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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