Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
