New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
