they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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