Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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