Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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