Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
