so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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