nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
