so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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