stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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