I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
This is my gift to your gina
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize