I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
