i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
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a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
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Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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