he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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