ya dads aren't the best wingmen
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
