2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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