Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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