you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
