I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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