when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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