I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
