you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
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Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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