like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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