do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize