i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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