A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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