Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize