I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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