Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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