she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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