Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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