So drunk its hurt
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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