there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
