pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
