Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
i need some magic done to my vagina
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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