I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
