Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
