Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
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I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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