I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
