So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
