he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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