Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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